Well, I’m really late on this one, folks. You could almost make some sort of thematically appropriate memetic statement about my lack of fastness, if you were so inclined. But, let’s not. Let's get right to the point.
That point being the Olympics! The noble celebration of the absurd conceit that fire is more special when it's impractically passed from person to person, across long distances, as a huge middle finger to no less than the great Stephen Fry, who decided in 2011 that there was no greater invention in the history of mankind than the (considerably more practical) lighter. After that, the Olympics inevitably plunge straight downhill when they sadly become preoccupied with all that sports nonsense. It's tragic, really. Clearly, these proceedings needed livening up, desperately, and Sega was more than happy to oblige, by begging Nintendo to oblige them, also. And thus, it was settled: the Olympics were forever transformed into naught but the backdrop for people to live out an increasingly irrelevant rivalry, in a particularly nonsensical way. YEAH!!!
Well, I have nothing against irrelevance or nonsense, either, and so I've generously given Mario Mario and Sonic T. Hedgehog another venue in which they can engage in an EPIC FIGHT TO THE DEATH, via cinema. Didn't that sound like fun? "Hells yeah it does", I assumed you said; and so, last time, I allowed Mario to take the field and show off a film that razed even the nefarious Dennis Hopper's soul. Sadly, though, he only managed to score a disappointing 2.0 from the pasty white American judge. But now, in the overdue second part of this two-part series, Sonic the Hedgehog takes his stab at Pseudolympic glory, as we flash back to the year 1999. The world was on the verge of ending, forever, because Y2K; staring their mortality right in the eye, ADV realised that time was growing ever shorter to fulfil their lifelong dreams of dubbing the two extant episodes of an obscure Sonic the Hedgehog OVA from three years prior, and they solemnly swore to stop putting it off once and for all. And thus, America was introduced to the inaccurately titled Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie!
